mismatched

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a few weeks ago I went house hunting & this past week was the first bit of training for my Big Girl Job. so I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what kind of grownup I want to be. when I was in high school, I thought people in college were really old and mature. then I got to college & felt young & scared & lost… but I thought people who had graduated & were working seemed really put together. now I have a job & a house & I still feel about 15 years old. I am realizing that I might never feel exactly like an adult… but that doesn’t meant I’m not (very slowly) becoming one.

back in May when I went to the graduation before mine, I was running a little late so I pulled back my wet hair in a barrette & put on clothes that only mostly matched & hopped on my bike & peddled over. & I vividly remember thinking, today I’m supposed to grow up a little… I hope that I don’t lose this when I grow up. I hope I still don’t worry too much about things matching. I hope I still ride my bike and don’t worry about it making my hair messy. I hope I sometimes stay up really late even when I know better. I hope that, if I get married, I marry someone who writes things on the bathroom mirror that need to be erased real quick before kids come in the room. and I hope that, if I have kids, I sometimes put them in the car at 9pm and take them through the sonic drive thru in their pjs to order ice cream. (but only sometimes because sugar is bad for you and kids need sleep or they are awful cranky.)

basically, I think what I have realized recently is that, if you are not real watchful when you’re younger, it is incredibly easy to wake up & realize that you are living a boring adult life. and you know… it’s ok if my life is really hard. but I sure don’t ever want it to be boring.

(p.s. perhaps seemingly in conflict with this post, here’s a great article on why we need boring christians. I think it’s important to clarify that when I say I don’t want a boring life, I don’t mean I think your life is boring if you don’t move to Africa or start your own nonprofit or sky drive on the weekends. I think pursuing the Kingdom is the most exciting thing that anyone can ever be involved with… whether it happens in Kenya or at the kitchen table.)

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